DIAGNOSIS AND DEPRESSION
2/11/2012
First I wanted to say that I am sorry that this is coming out so late. The pain medications I’ve been on since my surgery on January 25 have done a number on me. I'd also like to say thanks to Indianarunner for this blog. It’s hard to remember everyone who’s asked me to keep them updated.
The three months leading up to January 25th were rough. In the middle of September I started having significant pain in my hip. I ran through the pain until middle of October when I came home to see Dr. Jason Russell, a sports performance doctor who is an ortho-chiropractor. He diagnosed me with a torn labrum in my left hip, which is sort of like the meniscus in the knee.
Dr. Russell told me that I would need an ortho procedure and be back to running in a month. He got me in that afternoon to see the arthroscopic surgeon in town, the guy who does surgery on the Fort Wayne Komets and Tincaps. Right away that doc wanted to do an x-ray to see if there was any other damage. And there was. He came into the room and said, "Brad you have a condition called hip dysplasia.”
I kinda laughed and told him we once had a dog that had dysplasia. We took it back to the breeder. The doc said, “Well, the good news is we don’t have a shed out back. But the bad news is you’ll need a pretty major series of operations. I really don’t see how you’ll run again. But I don’t really see how you’ve run up till now either.”
He kept talking but all I heard over and over again was how I wouldn’t run again. He said I’d need a Periacetabular Osteotomy or PAO, where they break the pelvis in three or four places and shift it over the top of the femur. It basically moves the hip joint. It means I’d lived my whole life with my hips out of the socket. He also said he couldn’t do that major of a surgery and that he knew of only one doctor in Indiana who could, a guy at IndyOrtho.
He left the room and it hit me. My career was over. Everything I had worked for, all the 70 mile weeks, the 17-mile Sunday long runs, the tough workouts. Gone. I started the day thinking I had a little problem and suddenly I was told I’d never run again.
The earliest we could get an appointment at IndyOrtho was a month away, in mid-November. But right away we started to research PAO and it wasn’t good. The surgery was invented in Switzerland about 25 years ago and all the information we could find was about unathletic people just happy to be pain-free again. And, that in 15-20 years a total hip replacement was needed because of the wear and tear on the hip. It just seemed like the news kept getting worse. Not only would I not be able to run, but I would have more issues later in life?
In the meantime, the doctor told me I should stop running immediately because I risked tearing the labrum even worse. He was worried that the labrum might be the only think keeping my left hip in the socket. He said I could damage the hip joint if I were to dislocate it.
We decided to get another opinion and called Dr. Steve Simons in South Bend. Doc Simons is a general doctor who specializes in the treatment of runners. He’s pretty well-known with runners in the northern part of the state and has helped a lot of runners with a lot of different issues. He was also the U.S. Olympic Track and Field Doctor once. We got in to see him on Friday, October 28. We took the x-rays up there with us. Doc Simons came in and talked with me about my running and what had happened. Then we pulled out the x-rays and he was stunned.
“I’ve never seen hips like this in a distance runner,” Doc Simons said. “You’ve run how many years? How fast are you? How many miles have you run?”
In a nice way, he seemed to have more questions than we did. He admitted that he wasn’t a surgeon but that something surgically had to be fixed. He wouldn’t begin to answer my questions about running again, but encouraged me to take up cycling.
“You’ve built an incredible aerobic system. Don’t let it go to waste. Do something with it,” Doc Simons said. “Maybe you are the next Lance Armstrong?”
From South Bend we drove to Terre Haute. The next day my little brother, Alex, and the Carroll team were running in the state championship. I was depressed about not being able to run but was pretty excited to be going to the state meet as a fan. Obviously I have great memories of the state meet and looked forward to seeing all the runners and coaches I know.
Even though I hadn’t been running for a couple of weeks, my left hip was pretty sore from the torn labrum. But it didn’t stop me from getting around on the course. Early in the race I tried to be pretty careful but as the race went on, Alex kept moving up. When he got into the top 25, I couldn’t help myself: I was running all over, screaming. I even climbed over a couple of fences. Alex moved all the way up to 17th and he easily beat me to the finish line. When I got there I was so excited I climbed up the really tall fences around the finish area. They had the walls up so we couldn’t see the runners, so I just had to find Alex. I knew exactly how he felt, running his best race ever at the state meet. I screamed out to him.
I certainly paid the price that day. My left hip was on fire and it took a few days to walk without pain. But, it was worth it.
But over the next few weeks back in Columbus, I started to get depressed. I was in pain going up and down stairs and had no energy because I wasn’t exercising. I tried the elliptical machine and it really killed my hip so I couldn’t even do that. I was frustrated, mad, angry, alone. I really didn’t want to be around anyone and just figured my career was over. I figured I’d have to come home and go to school here in Fort Wayne and get a job. I didn’t even want to think about cycling. If I couldn’t run, I didn’t want to do anything.
Finally we got to the appointment at IndyOrtho. The doc there is a specialist, one of about 25 in the country who do the PAO. And, he’s THE guy who works on the Indy Car drivers’ hips when they crash. We figured he’d know his stuff. But he came into the room and took one look at the x-rays and shook his head.
“Not only do you have dysplasia,” he said. “But your femoral head isn’t angled toward the hip socket.” He went on to explain that they would have to break the femurs and the pelvis and that it would take him at least two surgeries on each hip. He said it would basically be one surgery every three or four months for 18 months. He then said I should see a doctor in St. Louis that he knew or a guy at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota who was supposed to be pretty good.
The doc at IndyOrtho kept talking but all I heard was that I was a cripple. It just seemed the news got worse and worse. First Fort Wayne, then South Bend and now even the guy who puts the IndyCar drivers back together wouldn’t touch me.
But as he talked, he did say a lot of great things about the doctor in St. Louis. He said the guy did pretty amazing things and that he’d put me back to “good as new”. So I asked, “will I be able to run again?” And he said, “That’s a question for (the doctor in St. Louis.)”
Of course, we couldn’t get into the doctor in St. Louis right away. First, they said it would be January, but we asked for an emergency appointment. We got it on Dec. 16.
The doctor’s name is John C. Clohisy of Washington University. We did some research and seemed to have a lot of experience with PAO on young athletes.
When we got to St. Louis, they took seven new x-rays and did a ton of leg movement tests. While he was doing that, I asked, “Are you going to be able to fix me? No one else seems to think so." He laughed and said "Yes, I do three or four of these a week.”
He went on to explain that he likes to be very conservative in his estimations but he did say had done the surgery on over 250 athletes but he had never done it on a young competitive runner. His experience was in soccer, hockey and basketball players. But he didn’t see why I couldn’t get back to running again. As far as serious training and competing, he said he had no idea. Most of it would depend on my pain tolerance and how my rehab goes.
One thing that was consistent with all the doctors I saw was the fact that I was not allowed to run. For everyone out there who runs for the pure love of the sport knows how hard it is to just stop. The longest I went without running previously was 7 weeks due to a stress fracture. This however, was different. About a month after I was told not to run I was feeling depressed. School wasn't going well and I wasn't happy. It was about 9 at night and I decided I was just going to go to bed and hopefully feel better in the morning. But, I had a sudden feeling; I needed to go for a run. I put my clothes on, tied my shoes, and decided I would try to run. That night I ran four miles and averaged 6:45 and closed in a 6:24. I felt great! The next morning not so much. I could barely make it up or down the stairs and even walking was a problem. I decided I wouldn't try that again.
Of course, I couldn’t NOT run. Over Thanksgiving break James Martin (my high school teammate) texted me about running. He had eight so he ran the two miles to my house and we finished at his house. All in all I ran 6 miles and it felt amazing! Over the next two months till surgery I ran five more times. Each time became less painful but I was losing fitness big time. Finally the Sunday before my surgery came.
Now I know you all will think I was stupid but I needed one last run. My brother and a teammate were meeting to run a long day and I decided last second that I would go with them. When we got there I told them that I would only run two miles. However, as we were running I decided to keep going. I didn't have a watch so I had no clue how far we were. Finally, they looked at me and said hey we've only got 20 minutes left you want to keep going? I said sure why not. By the end I was trashed. I asked how far I had made it and they said nine miles.
I knew my mom and girlfriend would not be happy because the chance of hurting myself was so high but I didn't care! I knew that it would be another six or seven months till I could even jog so I needed it!
Next…..St. Louis and surgery.